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Why did you start homeschooling…Accidentally?

While some families know from the start that they want to homeschool, others arrive somewhat by chance.  Did you know from the start that you were going to homeschool?  Why?

Another path is the  families who initially put their children in traditional schools. Then, something happens. Perhaps  this “something”  happens over and over or different something happens.  Sometimes there are a few classroom or school changes but it still is not working. The problems appear at first to be with other students, the school culture, the academics, the faculty, or even their own child.  But over time, the parents realize that traditional schools are not working and they become convinced that the available schools are not going to work well for their children.

Never Thought I Would Homeschool!

Although many are people of strong faith, these families start to homeschool not for religious or philosophical reasons, but as problem solvers trying to do the best for their children.

I never thought I would homeschool, but after trying my son in several different schools, we were at our wit’s end. Our son was miserable in school and doing badly.

After one particularly bad day when he came home in tears and humiliated, we agreed to try homeschooling for the rest of third grade. That was two years ago and it has really worked out for us..

One Particularly Conflicted Mother Got me to Thinking

There was one  conversation that got me thinking about these families and their process of suddenly jumping into homeschooling. One mother who had called to find out about our curriculum, felt it important to explain to me that:

I don’t really believe in homeschooling and I don’t want to do it, but I have to because of my children and the way schools worked. I only want to do the best thing for my children.

I was struck speechless trying to think how this last statement, that she wanted to do the best thing for her children, made her any different from anyother homeschooling parents, or any parents for that matter.

Many Families Start on the Homeschooling Path in a Bumpy Conflicted Manner

I noticed that she is far from being the only one who followed a bumpy conflicted path into homeschooling. I coined the Accidental Homeschooler  term to describe those starting to homeschool motivated by a process of elimination, not because homeschooling is their primary choice.

Are Most Homeschoolers  Accidental ?

While we believe that homeschooling stastistics are poor given the size and signficance of the movement (Is 4% of the K12 population believable?), I believe that about half of today’s homeschoolers started in traditional schools. So, with some fear of over-generalizing, here are some characteristics of accidental homeschoolers that I have observed:

  • Accidental homeschoolers often have the impression that they are unusual in that they are only homeschooling because it’s the best option. Many seem to feel at first that this sets them apart from other homeschoolers.
  • Accidental homeschoolers decision to homeschool often resolves a crisis, or series of crises, with the children, the school, and sometimes within the family.
  • Many accidental homeschoolers have been preoccupied trying to make traditional education work for their children so that when they finally give on schools and decide to homeschool, they find themselves with no preparation and no real idea what homeschooling means.
  • Accidental homeschoolers start with real trepidation and often with little to no enthusiasm for their endeavor.
  • The number of people starting as “accidental homeschoolers” is increasing now that the public has broad awareness and acceptance of homeschooling.

Since we get a lot of these calls from these families in transition, we have created a free guide with ten key ideas to help them through the transition into homeschooling. The advice includes how to avoid mistakes in an initial buying spree, how to layer in an overall homeschool program, how to connect with other homeschoolers locally and online, and how to build an appropriate mix of activities for each day.

The Homeschool Melting Pot

We’ve noticed that the accidental homeschooler label only applies for a limited period to these homeschoolers. After a deschooling transition period, parents become immersed in their new approach to education and lifestyle. Their initial anger with the education system which they feel failed them melts away as they adapt to their new life. They seem to forget that their decision to homeschool was one of necessity, not a deliberate choice.

I had starting homeschooling when I found that the schools just did not work for my children. My initial attitude was bitterness with the schools and the blunders and accidents that had forced me to take on the education ourselves.

Over the years, a funny thing happened. I began to notice that there was nothing regrettable about the fork in the road that I took and the homeschooling path that I was on. I shifted from being a critic of the schools to being a homeschool advocate. I noticed that many of the friends I made that first year experienced a similar metamorphosis

This Accidental Homeschooler became an Enthusiastic Homeschooler

Article by John Edelson of Time4Learning.com, a leading online curriculum for homeschoolers. To discuss accidental homeschooling with other parents, join this thread on the parenting forum.

This article is an update of the article written for this blog years ago. I thought of it while reading  apost called Is Homeschooling for You by Alexandra of “Good Day, Regular People”